I am back~

Huhh..how long have i neglected this blog? I don't really remember also.
Haiz..what to do?? A lot of things happen recently, and mostly the bad things to me.
God..how much tears you want me to drop?
Yes..UPU result have released and i got nothing!!! What's a bad and sad news for me??
I am sad..I cried..! Sometimes i really feel that i am so so so useless, i made everyone that support me all the time disappointed! Sorry..dad..sorry mom..sorry everyone!
What can i do the next? Yes..i am actually well prepared to accept this fact, but once i hear my friend talking about their on coming future local life, don't know why i am sad, disappointed!!
I hate myself..why i cant get what i want always??
God..why are you always joking with me? Anythings that i have done wrongly? Someone can tell me? Guide me?
Last night, i went for a gathering. I met all my form 6's friends, they are talking their preparation for uni life, some planning to have a body checkup, apply ptptn and etc..!!
And me? Haiz..!! Anyways..thanks all my friend who consoled me last night. I will try to be tough..think positively.
I am here wishing all of you a wonderful new journey and all the best, hope we can keep in touch always..bye..my dear friends~
For me..really do not dare to think much, everyday work work work like a machine just to earn money for my course fees..!
God..i am actually tired you know? When can i stop and rest? Where is my luck?? I want to get back my good good luck..!

My Substantial Life~

Recently i have my life with substantially. As usual i am still working as a clerk, but i do got another two of part time jobs which one is piano teacher and one is driver at home. Haha..the driver i am being now is actually have payment also..!! I have to work everyday even though Saturday and Sunday. Huh..how pity am i..?? But i am enjoying it because i need money, i am seriously needing money for study and travel..!! Omg...i have been long time din't go shopping already..i am going to be a crazy girl..or yet i have already a crazy girl..lolx! I hope to go shopping guys..friend please ask me out..*date me out*..~

Hehe...everything seem like going without hitch recently. I love my current life..love my family..love my dear dear..my friend and also my work! Feeling of tired but also satisfy actually..haa~very contradictory hor?? But anyway..just hope my current life can goes along with happiness.

Ya..i have already gone to UTAR and ask for the courses! I got the application form already and done my course study also, but still don't know what should i choose to study..haiz!! Sometimes reality and dream are hard for me to decide. If i choose the course which i am interesting to study, i will need to go to Perak. There is actually quite far for me, i hope to stay beside my family or maybe as i reason i can save all the indicative living cost there but if i choose to study near around here, the courses provided are business and media. God..what should i choose?? Anyone can give me your comment? I keep asking myself a repeated question recently..Am i an independent girl? How long do i need to take to adapt to a situation without my dear and my family? I don't know, cant get an answer at all. But for this moment, i know i don't hope to leave with them.

I can still remember when i was young, i hoped i can grow up quickly then leave this home and looking my world outside the world, but now only i realize how important a family to me..i need them always..they lend me their shoulder everytimes when i need it..they will console me, indicate me a correct way. Truthly thanks to my family and also my dear~love you all and heart you..muacks^^

Confused~

I just attended a birthday party at Weng Harng's house. What so weird is this is actually not harng's birthday but is his brother's birthday, and i got invited too! Haha..dun care la, just treat it as a gathering la since i have been long time didn't meet with all my buddies already. But it was fun and thanks for harng's serve ya..^^

We chatted a lot there and so do the future plan. Haih..seem that everyone has cleared with their plan but how about me? I am not sure, i got a plan but don't know whether will it be the way i will follow at last. Damn it..i am fully regret actually because i didn't study well during the whole form 5 year, so form 6 for me is quite tough since my basic is so weak. But what to do?? I have no other choices, once time passed already, you will never get it back. So i promised and i swear, i must do my best start from now!

Once you got a bad result and you are poor, this will be a problem for you to further study. It is truth and i am facing this problem right now. I know i must continue with my study since my study mood still very strong with me. But i do sure that the percentage for me to enter local university without spending money is low. Second, let say if i choose to study private, i afraid that i need to retake a foundation course. I wish i wont go back to foundation life, i want to continue with my degree course!!

So..what i must do now is working hard and earn money to study. I am not sure when i will resign the job, maybe on June, September or December. I can't make any desicion now since i still have to wait for the goverment letter. But i will look for a day to go to the Utar and ask in details about the course, fee and also the enroll date. If they accept me to go straight for the degree course, i think i will enroll on January of 2011 and hopefully i can get it. This is the plan which i can study straight to degree course and earn money along this 7 months from now until end of the year. One more thing i am sure is i can't apply the loan for my degree course. So the money i earn now will be using on the first semester of course and i will work harder to get loan on the second semester and onward. ~JiaYi Gambateh~

Recently i am trying to improve my general knowledge. I want to step near to this world. Sometimes i really don't understand why am i improving from now?? It should be started early right? Haih..i have already wasted a lot of time, i hope i can chase back the time i have lost. If i got another chances again, i sure will do my best, won't let myself regret anymore. But for now, i know i cant, so i should be optimist! As i realized where did i do wrong, i must re-correct it!

God~i know i am wrong, i wish i could get another chances from you. I swear...i will do the best!!
Hope i can get what i desired~

My Recent Life~

I had been long time dint update my blog already and the reason will always be busying.
Recently i am busying with my work.
I got a work last month and probably with work until end of may if i am not mistaken.
God..i truthly hope i can go back to my study life..I love studying!!
I am currently working as a admin clerk actually but i don't know why do i need to do all supervisor's stuff..confused~
But anyway, i think i have already adapted in such a situation where i need to sun under the hot sun hot everyday.
I tell myself, just treat it as a experience and must pass through all this challenging.
I am actually quite believe a quote * God promise us a better life, but He doesn't say it gonna be easy *..!!
Time by time, i know i can be a mature and positive thinker.
No one can look down at me, i will let you guys know 'JiaYi always Boleh'..!
For now, i always keep my faith for everything...I must do the best! I don't want to make myself regret at future!

But how is my home life?
What i can say is i am getting along with happiness.
Don't you guys feel it..once you gone out work already, you can really get the meaning of home.
* Home Sweet Home *..home is the best place for me to rest, i can feel the caring from everyone at home and i love this feeling.
Since the day i start working, i can communicate well with my parents and i don't quarrel with them anymore..muacks..happy^^

How is my love journey?
I believe that love do not come easily, so once it has already come, we must appreciate the moment always.
I know love journey sometimes will face with hitch, but if you love them, you won't let them go easily.
Just as me..i love my dear and i am sure he loves me too.
I trust him always that already enough, don't try to think of others.
Love is a simple feeling with you can't really describe it..it is abstract but sweet.
I am going to China soon at 15th of October..!
I am so so so excited which cant describe from words..
I hope to see my dear soon and i miss him always!
Truthly hope we will have our wonderful and sweet moment there~ I love you!

Photo Gallery~

Genting Trip~22/2/2010 & 23/2/2010

Feeling lost

Guys..sorry for being disappear for a long time.
This is because i am busying like hell recently.
Bunch of stuff happened once together and are waiting me to settle it down.
For just a one week time, happy and sad things come toward me together.
What should i feel glad is i have been to genting with my dear and my family and of cos i have also been to sabah with my classmates too.
Sad to say that my dear has gone back to beijing at 26/2/2010 where i cant send him to airport just because i went to sabah at 24/2/2010.
It was a very sad thing for me since i have to leave my dear earlier and i couldnt see him again in a long time after i come back from sabah.
You guys wont know how much tears i have dropped in the waiting room of airport, inside the flight and reached at tune hotel.
I miss my dear so much which it wont be reduced but increased time by time.
Anyway, i hope my dear can attempt back to his life soon and hope everything can go well to him..i love you~muacks!
Secondly, my stpm result already released on 25l2l2010 where it was the second day for my sabah trip.
I dont have much thing can say with my result because it was damn sucks man...
I sad and i cried but what i want to tell myself is i have already tried the best and i shouldnt get any regretion.
So, what i can do is just accept and do the best again next time.
But actually i dont really sleep well and i dont have appetite to eat also.
I am annoying now for the application to enter local university.
Although i have applied and sent it, but i scare i cant get what i desired.
I have totally lost my direction now which dont know what else can do.
I dont hope to come out work so early because i am actually a girl that like to study.
God..please do give me some luck because as everybody know, i was born in a poor family which i cant get any financial support from my parents.
Since i was young, i need to work to gain extra pocket money.
So, me and all of my sibling are definitely consider an independent children if compare with other children la..lolx..!
Hope everyone can bless me..thanks~
Well, let change the topic and come to sabah trip.
This was the second time i gone to sabah but with different people.
To conclude, this sabah trip is consider enjoy and memorable for me.
I learned fishing and snorkeling there.
I am here want to take this opportunity thanks to Rachel who taught me snorkel..heart you ya..!!
Then, i have also noticed how good are my friend in this trip.
In short, sabah is a unforgettable trip and i hope to go there again.
You guys dont even think sabah is a ulu state but actually there have many beautiful island and rainforest.
If you guys like natural, you guys sure like sabah..hehe^^

Happy Chinese New Year 2010

Time is flying and we are going to say goodbye to Chinese New Year 2010 soon.
Today is the days 8 of new year and i am passing my new year with simple and happy!
Haha..nothing much can describe the celebration for this year because we just have a simple celebration like usual.
But actually to be honest, as every members in family can stay together, i am already satisfy with it.
This year the first day of new year is crashing the valentine day and i am glad because i got to celebrate new year and valentine day together with my dear and my lovely family.
Maybe for others couple, they hope to celebrate valentine by 'two people world', but for me, it is a good tried also to celebrate with family sekali gus!
Haha..and at last i found that i was quite enjoying..lolx..!!
Along this new year, i have gone to many relatives house to 'bai nian'.
And i did get a lot angpau.
But one thing i feel very weird is why chinese new year is all about gambling?
Lolx..i saw most of people gambling in this new year and so do i..haha..but my luck quite good, because i won some, not that much la..hehe!
Second, my mom's birthday sat on days 5 of new year and all of us held a simple and memorable celebration for her which at my 'dai bak' house..!!
A lot of meals have prepared and eaten by us..really happy and i am sure my mom did feel it..!!
Mama..Happy Birthday to you ya..I love you~

hehe~this is the birthday cake we bought together for our lovely mama!

my lovely papa and mama..muacks~



Me and my sweet dear~muacks..love you forever!

This is the first card that i made for my dear as valentine's present..hope you like it..my dear~muacks~ HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!


Guys..I am here wishing you all have a prosperous Chinese New Year. Happy throughout the whole tiger year ya! Haha..Huat ah!!